My friend, Delta Story, writes Voyager (Janeway/Chakotay) fan fiction. I like her stuff.

I stumbled over her "Guide to Writing Instant Fanfic" on her website. Instant is good, which is why we have microwaves. Instant can even inspire, and thus inspired, I wrote. And because my inspiration came from Delta, I wrote in the style of Delta -- at least one of her styles -- so here is my tribute. Oh, and I used the recommended words from her instant story guide -- they are in italics whenever they first appear. Check out her website (formerly geocities, now archived - will include link later) Trekker Treats for more fun stuff. Her guide to instant fanfiction can be found under one of her links.

Seven of Nine wasn't thinking, she was walking -- walking briskly with determined steps, arms swinging, hips swaying. And because she never allowed herself to be consumed by random thoughts, fantasies or day dreams, she was alert and aware, senses ... sensing, and thus aware, she overheard the conversation.

"Erect." It was Commander Chakotay's voice, soft, smooth, cooing. Seven guessed that he was facing her through an open door. His words were clear but hollow, at least the ones loud enough to hear.

"It can be as hard as you want it," he continued.

Seven tensed. There was an edge to the comment she did not understand and did not like.

Captain Janeway answered, but Seven could not make out her reply, the voice was muffled, distant.

"Wooden?" Chakotay chuckled.

Seven heard the Captain moan. Her heart lurched, but she did not vary her pace.

Passing the open door, Seven glanced into the Captain's Ready Room. The Captain sat close to her second in command, her thigh touching his. His eyes were aflame, bright with heat and as Janeway turned, she seemed feverish, flushed. Chakotay smiled tightly as Kathryn closed the door.

Seven stumbled and when she reached a junction in the corridor turned toward sickbay and away from her original destination of astrophysics.

Doc may have been a hologram, but he was not without heart. As soon as Seven appeared in the doorway to sickbay, he noticed her chest heaving and her full lips pursed in concern. He ran to her side, medical tricorder reading an elevated pulse as blood raged through her system.

"Seven," the doctor proclaimed. "Are you ill? Your heart is pounding."

"My health is quite fine, doctor." Seven paused. "Thank you." She took a few moments, brows knit, before continuing. "I am worried, however."

"Worried?" The doctor took a seat on the bed across from her. "Worried by what?"

Seven turned to him. "I am worried for the Captain, doctor."

"The Captain? What's wrong with the captain?" The doctor sprang to his feet.

Seven glanced at the floor, her skin pale. "I am not sure, but I think Commander Chakotay is threatening her."

"Commander Chakotay?" The doctor leaned back, his hand rubbing his chin. He smiled thinly so Seven would not see that he was grinning. "And what exactly happened that makes you think the commander is threatening the captain?"

The doctor rubbed his chin harder and covered his mouth to keep from laughing as he listened to Seven's concerns. He assured her that all was fine and that he would get back to her later that day with an explanation. He was still chuckling when Tom came on duty.

"You're in a chipper mood, today, doc," Tom said.

"Well," the doctor giggled.

Tom looked sharply at him. "Are you drunk?"

"No," the Doctor said. "But, well, the matter is delicate."

"Delicate?" Tom sat on the edge of a sick bay bed. "You mean it has something to do with sex?"

"Sex! What? No! I mean, how did you know?" The doctor walked toward Tom.

"I don't know, Doc. It's just that whenever people get all giddy and tongue-tied, it usually means that their minds are ... you know, elsewhere. Just a guess."

The doctor glanced at the floor. "Fascinating," he said and blinking, looked back at Tom. "I need your help?"

"Yeah?"

"This doesn't leave this room. Doctor-Patient confidentiality."

"Yeah?" Tom crossed his arms across his chest.

"It's about Seven."

"Something wrong with Seven?"

"No, no. Nothing's wrong. It's just," the doctor stood and walked around the bed. "She overheard a rather delicate conversation between the Captain and the Commander and it upset her."

Tom snickered.

"Exactly," the doctor proclaimed. "She understands the mechanics of human sexuality. She even has an understanding of the courtship rituals. It's just that she doesn't have any idea about ... "

Tom's eyebrows rose. "About?"

"Foreplay," the doctor continued.

"And ..."

"And?"

Tom grimaced. "And you are mentioning this to me because ...?"

"Well, I hadn't thought of it until you came in just now. But you and Lt. Torres are having sexual relations, aren't you?"

"I don't see where that is any of your -- "

"I was wondering, if perhaps, you and the Lt. could ... show .. Seven what foreplay was all about."

Tom blushed. "I don't know, Doc. I don't think B'Elanna will go for that."

The doctor stiffened. "Why not? It's a perfectly normal and natural act."

"Doc, " Tom slid off the bed. "You know better than that. It's a private thing, personal."

The doctor turned to his work and taking his padd in hand, he busied himself by organizing his equipment and supplies in alphabetical order: antiviral serum, DNA sequencer, hydrothorazine, regenerator, synaptic stimulator.

"Doc," Tom strolled over, pretending to help. "Look, it's awkward." He slid his hand through his hair. He paused, thinking. "Maybe there is a way we can help."

The doctor brightened, breaking out in a smile. "Really?"

"What if I can talk B'Elanna into creating a holoprogram to help. Something romantic, and you can ..." Tom scrunched his nose. "You can walk Seven through the steps. ... So to speak."

"Yes," the doctor said, looking away. "That is an excellent plan. First hand experience. Sort of show, instead of tell."

"Yeah," Tom agreed. "Show, don't tell."

The hangar bay was generally colder than the rest of the ship. That fact did not bother Tom as he lay in the Delta flyer with his pants down around his foot, one leg having broken free. His face was buried cheek to breast, as he nuzzled and licked B'Elanna's nipples.

B'Elanna was running the nails of her fingers across his back and groaning softly in encouragement. Her shirt lay across the pilot's seat, adding cushion in the otherwise cramped quarters.

"Haven't you ever wondered how the Captain and the Commander do it?" Tom whispered between gasps.

"What?" B'Elanna answered huskily.

"The Captain and Chakotay. Haven't ever wondered how they do it?" The words seemed to echo throughout the flyer.

B'Elanna stiffened somewhere between a nibble and a suck. Tom whimpered as her hands smacked him along the sides of his head. Tears welled in his eyes.

"What!" It wasn't a question. B'Elanna pushed his face up so he was looking into hers. "That's disgusting." 

Tom waited for the more that was to come. 

"Have you?" She asked.

"No," Tom whimpered again.

"Then why did you bring it up?" The words were spat. Her knee came perilously close to his manhood as she slid her body away from his embrace.

"The doctor made me do it."

B'Elanna slapped him.

"He did. Seven caught the Captain and Chakotay in the middle of hot and heavy foreplay and it spooked her. The doctor wanted us to show her what foreplay was all about."

Tom felt the sting of fingers slapping against his throat and the grip tighten.

"I told him no." The words came out in a high pitched wheeze.

B'Elanna released her grip. Tom's throat ached.

"But I told the doctor that you might be able to create a holoprogram to use."

"What do I know about human mating rituals?"

"Oh, I don't know," Tom offered. "You do all right by me."

B'Elanna lifted him and threw him against the wall, her tongue flickering as she slithered across the floor toward him.

"Oh, so we're going to play rough now, are we?" Tom smiled, sweat beginning to make its way down his temples. "I guess that's a maybe to my request."

B'Elanna growled as she lunged.

"B'Elanna, watch out," Tom barked. "We're tipping. The light flyer is tipping."

The holodeck doors slid open and B'Elanna stopped. A beautiful asian woman with elaborately braided hair and a finely embroidered gown that crinkled as she ran, skidded by her. 

"Queen Arachnia, you won't escape us," voices called from above.

Queen Arachnia? 

Torres looked closer at the beautiful woman. "Harry?" 

Queen Arachnia stopped and stared. "You won't tell Tom will you," he croaked. 

Torres shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. There was movement in the hills above, she looked up. 

Two woman in what appeared to be safari outfits stood on the overhang, ropes and chains in hand. "Who are you?" B'Elanna called out.

"Captain Proton," proclaimed the first khaki warrior. 

"Captain Proton," repeated the second.

"What do you want? " The Delaney twins cried in unison.

"Hmmm," B'Elanna thought. She called up to them. "I came to reprogram the holodeck. Maybe you three could help."

Captain Janeway woke refreshed, and armed with her cup of coffee steaming from the replicator, entered the bridge.

The air was electric, her crew busying themselves with a feverish intensity. She glanced around the bridge; they were positively glowing. They looked away, avoiding eye contact. She smiled at Chakotay, who, with a pink tint to his cheeks, smiled back. She sat.

"I don't know what it is, Commander," Janeway said, sipping her coffee and leaning toward him. "But whatever it is everyone here is having should be ordered for the entire crew."

"Yes, Captain," her commander responded, rubbing his eyebrows and turning away.

"Captain, on the viewscreen now. A planet with suitable vegetation -- as you requested." Tuvok said.

"Really," the Captain said, glancing up at the viewscreen. "Wonderful." 

Chakotay leaned close so he would not be overheard. "This means we can start those vision quest meditation exercises you were interested in."

"Wonderful," Janeway said, rising. "Wood. Real wood. Perfect for my totem. I couldn't begin the quest without it."

The entire crew minus Chakotay and Tuvok shifted their weight and turned away. Kathryn swore she heard snickering. She turned to her first officer.

He shrugged his shoulders and looked to the floor. "They've been this way all morning."

The Captain glanced around the room. It felt like a junior high locker room, complete with forbidden holovids. It would ruin the mood, she refused to go there.

"Mr. Tuvok," she said, turning. "That planet looks wonderful. Mr. Paris," she faced her navigator, frowning, "take us there." She glanced around the bridge. "And wipe those grins off your faces, this is a Star Fleet vessel and I expect nothing but the most professional behavior from my crew."

Chakotay leaned toward her again, as the others shuffled in their places. "That's telling them, Captain. I'm sure *that* will work."

She swatted him playfully. "It had better work, and I think we need to find out what it is they've been up to and get some of it ourselves. Now, back to work."

"Course set in," Tom droned.

"Good," the Captain added as she leaned toward her first officer. "I can't wait for our adventure to begin."

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